While the opinions below are my own, I was provided K-Y® Touch® and compensated by K-Y for this post.
Dear longtime readers of Krasey Beauty, allow me to touch upon topics that may be somewhat new to the site, but that are very near and dear to my heart – relationships and intimacy. As someone who has been in a committed relationship for nearly twelve years now (first came love, then came marriage – you know how it goes), I feel confident sharing the “secrets” to my long term-relationship success (knocking on wood, cause I’m superstitious like that). Here’s what works in our relationship, to keep things fun, exciting, and most importantly, happy.
Know your Partner, and Shift your Role in the Relationship as Needed
In my opinion, relationship roles need to be a very fluid thing. Falling into behavioral patterns is not only boring, but it’s also counterproductive. By understanding my partner’s personality, I am better able to provide for him what he needs in our relationship. It takes time and effort, sure, but it has made us so much happier in the long run. For example, when I’m having a bad day, after all this time my husband seems to know when to play the sympathetic best friend, the commiserator, or the jester. When I am weak, he is strong, and vice-versa. We don’t fall into ruts and act the same roles, all the time – we both provide for the other whatever they need.
Never Take Yourself too Seriously
One of the cornerstones of our relationship is laughter, and for good reason. My husband and I are both hot-headed, with annoying habits that get under each other’s skin from time to time. Does that mean we constantly bicker- sure; but it is almost always lighthearted in nature, because we don’t take ourselves too seriously and usually know how ridiculous the “argument” is. When things get too heated, one of us (usually him, I must confess) will crack a joke, and immediately diffuse the situation. Go ahead and ask my husband about ducks*, and he’ll tell you that laughter will diffuse almost every situation.
Quality Time and Touch (a.k.a. Intimacy) are SO IMPORTANT
As social beings, we not only crave the touch of our loved ones, but we NEED touch to feel connected. In our relationship, intimacy is one of those things for me that falls under need-to-have, not nice-to-have; and I am not alone in that philosophy. This was highlighted when K-Y partnered with the Kinsey Institute to commission a National Survey – the Touch Initiative Survey – which found that 87% of men and women in committed relationships rated touch as very or extremely important to building intimacy, yet 34% say they aren’t touched enough. My husband and I make it a point to connect daily, for that very reason.
To me, intimacy is very much the spiritual and emotional connection I share with my husband, but it is also an obviously physical thing. We end every single day with quality time, where we talk, snuggle, and most importantly, make one another our priority. One of our favorite things to do is climb into our bed (no matter what time it is), intertwine our limbs together, and just cuddle. If anything else happens, so be it, but in that simple act of touching, we enter our own little connected world – feeling happiness, satisfaction, and contentment.
We didn’t always live by this prioritization of touch and intimate time – we are both extremely busy, after all – but doing so has made our relationship SO MUCH BETTER. We have cultivated a relationship that puts touch at the top of our list, and it has only deepened the connection we have and the love that we share. It can be as simple as running my fingers through his hair, as sweet as him holding my hand when we’re out and about, or as intimate as a soothing massage – my favorite – in or out of the bedroom.
Speaking of massage, K-Y has just released ‘Touch’, a 2-in-1 touch-activated massage crème and pleasure gel that encourages couples to get intimate, and deepen their connection with the power of touch. K-Y Touch is a non-greasy and non-staining massage crème and pleasure gel that both partners can use on one another, that gently warms as it touches the skin. The result is a soothing, pleasurable experience. You can find K-Y Touch on Amazon, here: http://www.amazon.com/K-Y-Touch-Massage-Creme-Pleasure/dp/B0136P75XA.
While all relationships are different, I feel the keys to mine are being flexible, sometimes silly, and making intimate time with my husband a priority. To learn more about K-Y and the Touch Initiative, be sure to visit http://www.k-y.com/. Also, feel free to share some of your best relationship tips in the comments!
*Author’s Note: During a heated argument about nonsense, my husband told me I smell like a duck. What does a duck smell like, you ask? Neither of us have a clue, but it was so funny that the argument ended right then and there. Now, ducks are our inside joke.